Sometimes when a person has to work 9 to 5* their job ceases to be a joy and becomes a burden. You feel like a mule walking in a circle around a fire. You don’t get any of the cane sugar but you do get to sweat a lot... this seems like a tangent ... lets move on.
One of my favorite Dolly Pardon songs is 9 to 5. It’s not a bad movie either. Not a good life plan to follow but fun high jinks!
Here are some fun things to do on a slow day. If you are brave and have run out of five hour energy type drugs.**
1. Make hand puppets and pop them over random cubicles. I actually did this one day. The person might have peed themselves. No regrets.
2. If you end up on the phone with someone speaking a language you vaguely recognized, continue the conversation with a mishmash of all languages you know of, “Patio set, cinco bella bano, oui.”
3. When people are talking directly at you or if they are on the phone with someone else, purposely overhear bits of their conversation incorrectly. As in, “Phisss Larry, I’m pretty sure Linda just asked for clown penis on her birthday cake.”
4. Move things to random locations. Place a stapler onto the coffee machine. Wait. Does anyone seem to care, notice, or move it?
5. Those chairs have wheels for a reason right? Or maybe not. Just remember the true winner is the person who does not end up in the ER. ***
6. Fake bathroom distress. Repeatedly flush the toilet, cry, beg God to spare you, say things like, “Flush, please, please flush.” Just watch out for KARMA.
7. Dream about something better than being at work. Like having your leg stuck in a bear trap, but it’s going to be ok, Lassie is on the way.
This Mama just might be cracking up.
*and a half if you are hourly.
**Not actually recommended but they are fun to daydream about. And who takes those energy things. It just seems dangerous.
*** Hmmm, actually that seems like a good way to go home for a few days.